Besides taking my last exam today, the bf (who is also a graduating law student) and I also attended a memorial service for one of our beloved professor's wife who passed away unexpectedly late last week.
This professor was one of our favorite professors and he and his wife (a former dean at the law school) were always so great to open up their home to students like the bf and I. The memorial service was wonderful -- it definitely illustrated what a special person she was.
The bf and I asked our professor when would be a convenient time to stop by and bring some food and he made a really interesting comment that I can definitely identify with because I felt the same way when my dad passed away. He said that his house was full of food and people at the moment but that he'd love to have some company next week when the house is empty. I couldn't agree more, I think that once the wake, and funeral are over and all of the chaos of the death has initially passed, I think that is the time when you need the visitors and food the most. Personally, that is definitely when I felt the most alone after my dad passed away.
That said, I know it is a very southern thing for people to bring food to the family of the deceased which brings me to the point of this post. Call the family and ask if they need food, or wait until that next week and bring food that freezes well with portions already packaged for the freezer. It sounds weird but I can remember throwing away tons of food after my dad passed away but thinking how nice a thoughtful meal would have been in the weeks following.
Taking my own advice, what the bf and I are going to do is go visit our professor next week at his home and I'm going to make mac and cheese and put it in individualized take out containers that can straight from the freezer to the oven (Dollar Tree has these and they even come with lids). I'm also going to make labels identifying the food and attaching reheating instructions.
Anyway, that's about all. I'm going to go enjoy a beer with a friend to celebrate the end of exams!
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2 comments:
Food can be so helpful during a time like that, it's a practical thing people don't always think of.
I went to a speaker last week who had just visited a refugee camp for women who fled Darfur and she said that even though these families have very limited food, they also bring each other their bags of UN-issued rice when someone dies. I thought that was really nice that it's such a universal concept.
that is so so true...you get a rush of people the week of...but then it's like everyone just is gone...you feel so alone. What a great idea! so sorry for the loss.
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